dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
