he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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