She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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