we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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