dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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