the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize