Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
