I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
