Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
