we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
