we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
