My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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