Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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