can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
