i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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