my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
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