I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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