Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I AM VODKA MAN
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
