Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
