chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
