dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
