I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think your dad took our porno
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
