i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
