Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
