so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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