all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
