if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
