I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
