did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
