I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
