You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize