You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
