new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
