so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
