Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize