I am in a vortex of obligation.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
