Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
