with your own penis?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize