You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
