your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Do vagina's smell?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
