This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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