Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
