I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
