we have pet lesbian snakes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
