im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
