Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
