He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
