she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize