please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
