Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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