Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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