Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
