You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
