I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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