Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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