So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
