And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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