i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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