so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
